last night was fun. Hung out with the regulars, walked all over the french quarter. Vainly tried to get into about a dozen different clubs. Met up with claire. I love Claire. Such a wonderful aura to her. And so cute! She's probably my second favorite lady of all. Watched a burlesque show. Went to zotz and learned that condoms are very flammable. Left zotz and lit many more condoms on fire (seriously it's hilarious and sickly entertaining). Went to a drive through because fast food is pretty much the only option at 3 am. Got kicked out of various parking lots. Took funny pictures. Then I tried to sleep in my truck, to which I will attest there are very few things as frustrating or miserable.

I need lots of drugs and alcohol. A lot.

can someone just tell me they want me in their life.

I hate how necessary it's become for people to be secretive with each other.  I think a lot of the social problems I have stem from the fact that I want to rebel against that.


I've been walking in dangerous territory lately.  I see something beautiful, far off on an island. It's blurry and maybe I can't see exactly what it is, but I don't need to to know it's something wonderful. But I have to swim through sharks to get there. Both literally and for the sake of this metaphor, I don't even know how to swim- forget the dangers of even entering the sea.


Right now, I don't really have the courage to take the swim. Not quite yet. I'm just kind of poking the sharks with a stick right now. I never said it was healthy.

I got first at state for history (yay!).

no one at all cares, including Stair, but to me it means a lot.


I pissed off almost the entire faculty when I spoke at AP night. My actual message was positive but apparently my tone was very inappropriate.


we did first night of the play, it went well overall. The highlight was an aftershow hug from Ms. Vo :)


Summer is coming very soon. It feels like last summer has barely ended :( My last summer really wasn't miserable at all, but I don't think I'll be so lucky this year.

One of my friends at school, someone I totally adore as a person, was talking to me at lunch today. She had the usual smile on her face, and was talking to me totally casually, but she was telling me about how she was crying last night, thinking about the future. It was so odd to see her laughing and smiling as always but actually imagining the words she was saying.


That's been in my head all day :((

well I'm arty now. Mixed feelings- it was the part I originally wanted, and I get ton more lines, but I hate being the second choice. It's a crummy feeling. Last speech tournament saturday- I will crash and burn.


Doing some community service thing with ms. vo tommorow. I love ms. vo, enough to overcome my hatred of doing community service.



Still been feeling incredibly bad about a few things. I don't ever truly get over stuff ><

I've been on the brink of crying all day, and I'm not sure if it's becuase I'm physically ill, I stayed the entire beforehand, or I'm just depressed out of my mind. Probably everything.


:(

so its 1, and I just woke up. Thankfully I have very little homework to do. Some math problems, and an essay, whatevs.



My break was really relaxing. Saw two really good movies (watched slumdog last night, very very well done). Movies were probably the highlight of the whole week, even though I went to both by myself.


NO DOUBT are back together and going on tour, and aren't stopping ANYWHERE near new orleans. I almost wanted to freaking cry :((

My dad randomly got a bunch of best buy gift cards from his work and gave me $100 worth to spend. Any ideas?

so what did I do today? I went to ms. willow's house to help her out with her new computer. Her house isn't huge or anything, but it's furnished really nicely. And she's an AMAZING cook- she made grilled chicken, cuzcuz (I have NO clue how its spelled, its like arab pasta basically), grilled zucchini, these weird mediterranean rice wraps... everything was delic-ous.


After that I went across the river and picked up paul. Brett convinced me to go see Kat Von D at borders (she was doing a book signing). I didnt feel like acutally buying her book, but I talked to her for a little bit and my god she is gorgeous ;-;

me and paul then screwed around loyola and by coincidence there were a couple performers in the auditorium, so we stayed and listened to some very lovely classical music.



my mardi grass break has been kinda boring but relaxing. Mardi gras itself was pretty disappointing, but whatevs. The best part of the whole break so far was the speech tournament last friday- it was really laid back and me, mike, johnny and paul had a great time just fucking around. After the tourny we hung out at (and this is weird, I know) popeye's, sitting in the parking lot listening to people take their orders.

Also, I found a journal I kept for a fairly short time last year and read through it. It was really fun, and a very interesting time in my life, right around the time I had decided to teach.

I saw the movie "coraline" the other day. Its from Henry Selwick, director of nightmare before christmas (most people seem to think it was directed by tim burton, it's not, and tim burton is overrated btw) and I LOVED it to peiced, even though I had a massive headache at the time and was surronded by loud, obnoxious children. the visuals are incredible (I didnt see it in 3d, and it was still very impressive) and the plot and characters are perfectly imaginative. It's something that's truly appealing to all age groups, like WALL-E.



Ciao for now :D

Ciao!

I've got straight As the first quarter (and the high grade for every history test thus far!), I'm getting my license in about a week, I've been relatively busy, Voodoo is only in a couple weeks, and now that the second quarter is in, I have two classes with my lovely new point of admiration, which makes me oh so satisfied. And on top of that I've still been talking every school day to my only true love, Madame Ellen. The only thing that really sucks, I guess, is that I still wish I actually had some real close friends amidst the million five inch relationships I have at school. But in light of everything else, it's hardly a biggie.



also, mushroommushroommushroommushroom.

umm lets see. Today was kind of lonely but it was fun.


I realized today that if it weren't for one single person in my life, it would be the difference between being content and being depressed. I think I know what it's like to truly love another person since my mom.




anybody reading this journal knows who it is anyway :P

woke up at 6 am. I had gotten almost exactly one hour of sleep, but I felt wide awake and was ready to rollll.

Listened to music in the car for a while, and got to school at 6:45. There was like 4 people there when I first got there. I went up to the third floor, and walked around endlessly, until I settled on the third floor, talking Brian Robbie and Ms. Willow. Good way to start my morning.

first class was stair. It got moved to the first floor, which really really annoyed me. I hate the first floor, I hate being on the first floor. But I'll get over it. Mr. Stair reminds me of myself A LOT. This class will probably end up my favorite. All of the people in there were Willow regulars last year. I sit next to Lacey and Kelley, which is fine by me, I can show off my girly things. I'm going to go to rally for that class this year, and I've put down my word to a few people (including mr stair himself) that I'm going to get first in state for it. So I'm going to study an hour a day, minimum, not including the time it takes for my homework. Hopefully that will be enough. It's going to be fun though.

During break I went upstairs and gave Willow my souvenir, and me her and Robbie talked till break was over. I asked her if she was free for lunch and she said she was. This made me very very happy.

Then I had chemistry. I was one of the last people in the class (thought I was going to be late) because I was held up talking to Willow. I was greeted by an overly excited Olejniczak, which I soon learned was because we sit right next to each other.

From the start it felt like Biology 2. Give or take a few kids its exactly the same people, and the classroom is practically identical. Which I liked, because I enjoyed biology a lot (along with every other class I had second semester last year) Most people said Neidhardt was terrible, but idk, just from the first day I really like him a lot. I can joke around with him a lot. and unlike my other classes there's a lot of kids in the class, which means more of an audience :) Oh how I do love attention.

Also, Candace is in this class, and I'm not going to ask her out or anything, but I want to get to know her, because she is the cutest freaking girl I've ever seen. So I'm liking Chemistry thus far.

Then I had lunch, with Ms. Willow! I was kind of worried Robbie was going to come up with me also, since he was there during break, but thankfully he had second lunch. When I came up on the third floor it was so cool, a bunch of teacher talking to each other and no students. The first thing I did was like to Mr. Roselli, my english teacher this year, for about 10 minutes. I really like him. I'm looking to drama even more this year. I don't want to get tooooo ahead of myself here but I'm pretty positive I'm going to get the role of Arthur in the first play.

Then I went with Ms. Willow in her room and we sat in adjacent desks. I kinda got overcome with emotion and cried my eyes out. It was the first time I've ever broke out into tears in front of another person since third grade. We talked about our influence on each other, my extracurriculars, new meat, my other teachers... lots of stuff. What made me feel best was she told me her doors are always open to me. The whole thing was just unbelievably touching. We walked across the hall together to my next class, French 3.

Well I don't know any other people in the class, and most of them are seniors. This kind of thing used to intimidate me, but the same thing happened to me in Sociology last year and I left that class with tons of new friends. It's also almost all girls, and of course that kind of thing is only a plus. I had to pay STRICT attention to every single thing Ms. Gravel said. She talks only in French. It's going to be a very tough class, definitely the hardest of first semester, but Ms. Gravel is already very supportive.

And then there was computer lit. Oh my god. There was one good thing abotu this class, which was that Will was in there and I sat next to him, he was a senior friend of mine from last year. But next week we're going to have assigned seats anyway. It was so unbelievably boring i cant even explain. I'll get a lot of art done in this class.

Oh well, 3/4 is good right?

My stepmom couldnt pick me up till late that day and I couldnt find anyone to hang out with so I just sat on the side of the school and listened to my ipod. So yeah, that and computer lit definitely ended the day on a bad note. But it didnt get me down too much.


So even though they might not know it yet, I've decided that my next three new friends are going to be: Candace, Claire, and Mr. Roselli. With all the extracurricular stuff I'm doing this year, I think I can get my popularity levels up to where they were at in FHS. I'm up for the challenge! And yes, this is important to me, shut up. I'm a social fiend.

A girl from FHS asked me out thursday night. I had a crush on her on ninth grade and kept a level of small communication with her in the following year. I decided to go out with her, but I let her know that I wouldnt get to see her much until october when I get my license. It probably would be a much bigger deal to me if it had happened to me a month ago, but right now I'm more concerned with my new teachers and kicking everyones ass in history.

was awesome! excitement for school year completely renewed. I'm pumped.


Seeing Ms. Willow was so great, I really did want to cry. Talking to her completely washed away my entire boring, pointless summer (besides california, of course). After talking to her I'm officially back in school and very happy indeed :)

Some other people there that made me smile: Ms. Ellis, Ms. Hemmelder, Coach Abott, Brian, Brett, Aaron, Robbie, Mr. Stair

I was worried the new english teacher was gonna be stiff, but I was joking around with the guy laughing before I even knew who he was. More good news, he's heading up drama this year, so that's another question mark answered.

This is the stuff I'm doing this year, listed in order of priority

drama club
 speech team
 art club
 videogame club
 mu alpha
 honors society


Now my biggest complaint is that I only have one day until THE FUCKING WEEKEND.

I'm not looking forward to it. The first half of every year is just painful.


I got my teeth cleaned today, and my hygienist asked what school I went to. The name really left a bad taste in my mouth. It always did. I spent three entire weeks with my northshore friends this summer, and I hung out with my southshore friends on a total of four different days.


I still do not, do not, do not feel like I belong here at all. Sometimes I'll get excited about being here, but it never ever lasts.

so yesterday my cousin came over and I went to see dark knight with him for the third time. Still rocks my world :)


I have to finish my summer reading by saturday, but I'm putting it off continually, like the bastard I am. It'd probably be easier if that bitch Kelley Hines would stop keeping me up all night.


I'm leaving sunday for lil trip to california. As they say in the local california slang, it's going to be hella raw. I'm going to hit up san francisco, the beach, a few colleges, a couple parks, six flags, and an In and Out. And when I return, a mere five days until schoooooooooooooooool. Can you feel the love in the air?!

Im at brendens place on the northshore. he's a good friend of mine.

I'm pretty much going to see all my northshore friends I didnt get to see the week ben came down.


Wednesday I'm going for lunch with erin and seeing THE DARK KNIGHT again. I'm pumpeeeed man.

I got my FHS yearbook finally. The damn things a novel. I was going to snap a pic to better illustrate,  but it's too late. Perhaps tommorow.

I need to go to sleep, hell.

the dark knight was a life changing experience

I left the theatre 27 hours ago and I still cant get it out of my head

and I got to hold hands with somebody I really like doing it. That doesnt hurt.


Today I walked around on magazine street, lost pretty badly at cards, and pulled on leaves. Since I got home I've been feeling a little depressed for no reason whatsoever.


I wish I could write more

so when we are bad, we'll scar your minds. Hell yeah!

Like many people we had a lame bbq to commemorate America's bday. Zoey came over. Zoey is my favorite doggy. She is supa sweet and rambunctious. Here is a pretty sweet pic of her for you guys, taken by yours truly:




So far it's been a blissfully average, but optimistic day. I've began logging a 1-10 point scale for each day, along with a friend of mine. I've also been writing as much information down about a dream as I can, as soon as I wake up. Here's what I wrote for last night's dream:

school looking around
kossick presenting books
osteen library
jackson wanted guitar hero from osteen
thought I saw ms willow/searching
kid from french class/black guy

take that as you will.

Today I have come to the conclusion that I just really, really hate the southshore. There was a period of my life where I thought I had improved since moving here. I did, but quite frankly, that period is done with, and it's time for me to go back. I AM READY TO GO BACK TO THE NORTHSHORE.  I have given this place plenty chances and I don't want to be here. Even my excitement for next year has been sapped out of me. I want to go Fountainebleau, I want to have Ms. Steibing's english 3 class, I want to have that stupid ID hanging around my neck all day, I want to go to all the football games, I want to put up with whatever stupid regulation is making the rounds. I'm sick of wearing ugly brick shoes, I'm sick of block scheduling, I'm sick of prayer, I'm sick of spending morning and breaks and lunch periods completely by myself.

I'm such a fucking whiner. But I really thought after a year I still wouldn't be miserable about being at this school. Complaining isn't going to get me anywhere, but fuck it, I have the right to complain every now and then.